You want to be the head of an evil multinational corporation? Even more important than goons and a nice Italian suit is a perfect supervillain desk. After all, a villain without a desk is just a bad guy standing around.
When you think powerful villain, you immediately think the ever-so-infamous Don Corleone, the Italian Mob Boss of the Godfather. What kind of Mafia head would he be without his dark wood desk of grandeur? From his desk, he ran the family business and grand statements such as, “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse,” or, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” What I’m saying is, the desk makes the boss, capiche?
Mr. Perkins, the bank manager of the Bank of Evil, has a grand desk. Villains can go and get their heists and evil plots funded, but without the seriously-oversized desk, he would not have the implied authority to intimidate even the worst of villains. Such a grand desk tells you that this is a grand man with grand power and even grander plans!
Even as kids, we all recognized the power and wealth of the one, the only, Scrooge McDuck! Counting and diving into his enormous mounds of gold in his vault, this miser definitely has the power to do what he wants, and he achieves all that as his mahogany behemoth of a desk.
Ah, the nefarious Dr. Evil! Though he never stays there for long, what would he be without his desk? His supervillain desk is so important; he has a small, satellite desk for his sidekick, Mini Me! This desk setup is perfect for plotting against Austin Powers while developing schemes to get his “billion dollars.”
How about a shout-out to all the Marvel comic fans out there! You know we couldn’t forget Kingpin. Kingpin could have never been Spider-Man’s dastardly businessman villain without his large and all-encompassing supervillain desk inlaid with green marble and all the tech goodies a bad guy could wish for. From this desk, Kingpin controlled the organized crime in Spider-Man’s New York City – a pretty impressive feat!
But, the villain of all villains has the desk of all desks that you will always remember for being foreboding and menacing…
You know… the enemy of Inspector Gadget! That is one villain and one desk no one will ever be able to forget.
We’re just saying, there’s a correlation between the success of a villain and the amazingness of his desk. See the chart below for definitive proof. Maybe this success extends beyond the villain.
All right, time to stop daydreaming. We are all probably striving to be more like superheroes than we are villains. Since a spandex suit is out of the question, we’ll just have to settle for the amazing and heroic office workspaces that OfficeZilla offers. We can conspire and scheme all our big superhuman, life-saving projects from the style and comfort of a brand-new desk! Hey, while you’re at it, maybe a chair and some coordinating furniture could help get you at the top of your superhero game.
Here’s to hoping you use your powers for good, not evil!